Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
