nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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