i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
