He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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