Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize