i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
