YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
