what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
