capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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