Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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