She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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