those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
