Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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