i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
