But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You took a bar mat shot.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
