I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize