And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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