just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
