So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize