Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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