Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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