remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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