Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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