Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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