After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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