so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
