If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
