Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
