question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
