Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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