Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
