I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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