I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
