so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
