please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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