So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
