Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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