I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
