After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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