I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
