im holly from the hills drunk
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
