Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
