I molested 6 butterflies tonight
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
