Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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