we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
