I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
