Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
