I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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