Whod you bang
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
