she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize