Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
