Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize