i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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