I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
