Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize