Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she peed on how many people?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everyone says I win the strip club
BRING THE BAGELS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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