i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
