I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel great
I just peed on a car
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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