i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
