Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize