id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
