Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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