I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
